Shahdan I was among the throng of human, revolve around the black cube, the Kaaba. Tawaf ... a part of worship rituals umra. He is like a life, go ahead and move, he is also like a time .. go ahead and spin. He never stopped, also stopped let alone backwards. Spin. Moving.
I was among the crowd and the crush of pilgrims. I wander among the mumbled prayers and dhikr that melenakan that makes me forget everything. Ummi forget my father, son or husband, brother, sister and friend, ustazd, colleagues, partners, mitra.Kecuali self and self alone.
Tramp of bare feet knows no age continues around the black cube. Sometimes chasing dikala behind by the peer. We kept circling, follow along the circulation until the Yamani corner, then ran a jog as he prayed 'Robbana Athina fi dunnya akhirati repertoire repertoire of behavior Waa wa qina' azaban naar. Then start again with a corner facing the temple, with a quick kiss: 'Allah Akbar Bismiallah Wa ..'
My heart was beating, there is a click diqalbu, a chemical process that comes spontaneously. Kemistri? There is fascination, a sense of peace mingled emotion at the Kaaba. Ohh .. I fell cintakah? Not! Not falling in love with the black sikubus. I do not worship the Kaaba. I do not know. It is hard to describe the despair I was, but I know he is just a symbol of uniformity in the direction to worship our Creator.
We moved closer to the Kaaba, I feel that the flow of pilgrims who perform tawaf like tributaries joining a large river. Feels closer to the center of pressure from the crowd of people, increasingly pressed enter so strongly into the orbit of the House of God, so as if we are given a new life.
In the seventh round .. tuk conceived hasyrat wiped and kissed the Black Stone corner of the temple. Ahh ... .. kuurungkan my intention was not able to combat the human flow that is so great just to rub or kiss the black stone caress me know if it will not bring benefit or madharat. Is not a requirement for keafdholan tawafku laden.
Tafakkur: Tawaf, and voluntary prayer after I did ... there is enough space for me kneeling Mu'tazam parallel to the door, the door to dream every jamaah.Konon anyone who prayed this door permohonnya in approval. Once kuberharap.
'Ohh, what this self? How small and stunted dihadapnMu ya Rabb '. Once I complained when my forehead touched the cool floor, in sujudku. Then please hampura for sin and make mistakes, whether intentional or not, which is known or not, past, present and future.
That is where, at the door Mu'tazam, as one place and right moment to ask God: I said back testimoniku, testimony that there is no Ilah but Allah, my Lord, and Muhammad is Rasulku, and Islam as Ad-din, delivery total and intact.
Yes, this door will tell Islamku commitment. Sirratal Mustaqîm kesendirianku.Yaa It would seem I was being myself ... Seok stumbling kuberjalan tanpak sandals dragging my feet. Own. In Padang Masyhar infinite vast, dazzling white, hot ... today we were led to attend court today, the day Day of Judgement and the other days.
Until it was time I stood on the catwalk 'Sirratal Mustaqîm ...' Then how can I put on myself to the other side .. how could I menginjakan tanpak my feet hurt and cut by sharp menyilaiukan Titian is so shiny eyes. Can me? Can I be ya Rabb. I will tergelincirkah, tercampakah me in the mighty cauldron NaarMu hot?
I was swept away by his own shadow and delusional. Before I know the answer ... my eyes heating up, burning and ears of grain meluncurlah unbearable tears. I was seized by fear. Horror. I terpenjarakan by a sense khauf.
O Lord my God ... while kuusap tears.
Penghambaanku for You alone, my love on da sunnah RasulMu, kuupayakan maximum extent possible. I always keep istiqomahku in any condition and environment that I not stumbled on the firth jahannam later.
I closed my eyes, and then I whispered .. do not I always beg you, every day, seventeen times or more for me, we're shown the right path "Ih-dinaas-Siratal-Mustaqîm".
O Lord my God ... Will all worship and amalku you receive? Will seeds of goodness that will never kusemai mementaskanku catwalk kesebarang there? "
Whoever is doing good as heavy dzarrahpun, undoubtedly he will see (reward) him. "(Qur'an 99:7).
Then I was beaten again by the ten thousand questions. 'Have I lighten the burden and trouble-saudarakuku brother, have we clothe their bodies are poor and vulnerable, filling the hungry stomach ... and came to see spread love and affection? Have?
If yes .. mestiny I, we 'tanpak expect and seek recognition or praise of man, leaving nature tanpak pride, does not apply treasonable to the friends and relatives, and release properties hasyad or envy, or anger, or to not expose others so kejelakan The wrath of God on the day of the encounter later.
I beristghfar ... my eyes glazed look-lateral lateral line motif nan cool marble floors, wiping tears grains dipipiku ... Then ... I dikala exam sabarkah hit, hit me dikala invective and insults, while satire and ridicule or criticism came alternately memborbardir myself? Ikhlaskah me?
Not ya Rabb? I shook his head ... 'Beluuum "Many hearts are fragile and easily slips hiba is so easy that I often fooled by the ego and emotions.
That's why I came and knelt to beg forgiveness for the tears bead is capable of washing and rinsing of sin and membeningjernihkan qalbuku, scrape the rust of superstition which perhaps could rust menyelimut-lattice dikisi conscience. Baguskanlah akhlakku, our morals, orders yet ... so we could get across Siratal Mustaqîm and graduated occupies JannahMu overhang.
Make it easy pace for my other brother with a purpose to be fulfilled, till thou-kak cemented our feet on the day when feet slip. O Lord Fill this petition. Amien.
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